A banker, sexier though it may sound is nothing but a mere number. His work, clients, colleagues and achievements everything is a number, just like his contact details. Bosses love him when his numbers are good and would not take much time to disown him if the numbers go southwards. so how does a banker keeps up the numbers.
A banker’s life is not easy, specially if he is in sales. To meet his numbers he tries various things, few of them are listed below.
Googling: Google is like oxygen to a banker. To find new client data first thing he does is go Google. A retail relationship manager Googls to find out who is who and whose got how much? He will search all the trade directories to talk to the MDs and CEOs of small and big companies. The corporate sales RM, out of his whims keeps putting in search criteria, like exporters / importers in my city, middle market companies, the one who exported hair of devotees, the one who exports cocks and hens etc. Higher the frustration level, funnier the search criteria. The banker who is already talking to a client and conspiring to land some money to him, Googls to find out the credibility of such client.
Business Newspaper: The fresher thinks reading the business newspaper will help him know lots of things about lots of companies and he can call them. He does not realise that most of these lots of new things about lots of old companies are cooked by none but the company. And when you call the CFO, he puts you on hold for a while. On the other line he dials his MD and the conversation goes “Sir (laughing) yes, I am on other line with him, you were right about these bankers, he he he, now we will cook it”. Wake up, the actually good companies are already over banked and their wives (existing bankers) would not let them talk to you.
Writing names when on the way: This is the most funniest way to generate leads, while on the way to meet the clinet, he keeps looking out of the cab (your bank paid for it) window, just to see if there is any worthy (looking big from outside) company that he can call up for meeting. the poor banker keeps making long lists of such names only to realize these are not googlable and because there are no Google results he assumes these companies not big enough, forget it... he he he
Talk to old lost friends: He starts getting in touch with all the auto and pan walas he used to know once. Spends lots of time on Orkut just to find out which of his friends, their friends and their friends are working with a worthy corporate. After several scraps, he will call him up a friend and the dialogue will go like this... hi bindi how u doing? remember me? the one! we met once on the tram to sonaganchi... ya ya the guy who was not carrying condoms, no not the one who was not wearing innerwear... na re baba u r confusing, the one who was looking for cost effectiveness and not quality. Yes bang on the lanky fellow with mooch and chashma. After doing the initial remember me exercise he hits the nail. Yar, I heard u working in the finance dept of Cant Fix a Bug Ltd. would it be possible for u to get me introduced to ur boss. I am working with Hamesha Sabke Behind Chalta bank now and thought if you guys would be interested in looking at our structural working capital no one understand solutions that we provieei... Beep beep beep beep.
Socialize: The sexiest souonding activity. Imagine going to golf course, joining clubs, the high end health parlors, the can not afford salons and the high-end discs with a hope to socialize with the corporate bigwigs. But if u belong to the unlucky gang nothing of these super expensive things will work. The golf course would be full of retired defense personnel. The clubs u can afford are full of bankers, they made the same mistake. The health parlors are full of has grown out of size kids of industrialist, who do not know a thing about what their self proclaimed fathers do. The salons are crowded with the wives of these quality contacts, who can have u as their candy boy but will not introduce you to their hubby. The discs are full of kids who just want to get high; u knew it.
However strange and innovatively useless the above may sound, the life of a sales guy in a bank is like that. The poor sole keeps changing the strategies, sources, databases and at times him self just for that single convert / click / sale. And when that account happens, no one can gauge his happiness. He is on different level, the feeling is nothing less than good sex. Confident, like on top of the world.
A banker’s life is not easy, specially if he is in sales. To meet his numbers he tries various things, few of them are listed below.
Googling: Google is like oxygen to a banker. To find new client data first thing he does is go Google. A retail relationship manager Googls to find out who is who and whose got how much? He will search all the trade directories to talk to the MDs and CEOs of small and big companies. The corporate sales RM, out of his whims keeps putting in search criteria, like exporters / importers in my city, middle market companies, the one who exported hair of devotees, the one who exports cocks and hens etc. Higher the frustration level, funnier the search criteria. The banker who is already talking to a client and conspiring to land some money to him, Googls to find out the credibility of such client.
Business Newspaper: The fresher thinks reading the business newspaper will help him know lots of things about lots of companies and he can call them. He does not realise that most of these lots of new things about lots of old companies are cooked by none but the company. And when you call the CFO, he puts you on hold for a while. On the other line he dials his MD and the conversation goes “Sir (laughing) yes, I am on other line with him, you were right about these bankers, he he he, now we will cook it”. Wake up, the actually good companies are already over banked and their wives (existing bankers) would not let them talk to you.
Writing names when on the way: This is the most funniest way to generate leads, while on the way to meet the clinet, he keeps looking out of the cab (your bank paid for it) window, just to see if there is any worthy (looking big from outside) company that he can call up for meeting. the poor banker keeps making long lists of such names only to realize these are not googlable and because there are no Google results he assumes these companies not big enough, forget it... he he he
Talk to old lost friends: He starts getting in touch with all the auto and pan walas he used to know once. Spends lots of time on Orkut just to find out which of his friends, their friends and their friends are working with a worthy corporate. After several scraps, he will call him up a friend and the dialogue will go like this... hi bindi how u doing? remember me? the one! we met once on the tram to sonaganchi... ya ya the guy who was not carrying condoms, no not the one who was not wearing innerwear... na re baba u r confusing, the one who was looking for cost effectiveness and not quality. Yes bang on the lanky fellow with mooch and chashma. After doing the initial remember me exercise he hits the nail. Yar, I heard u working in the finance dept of Cant Fix a Bug Ltd. would it be possible for u to get me introduced to ur boss. I am working with Hamesha Sabke Behind Chalta bank now and thought if you guys would be interested in looking at our structural working capital no one understand solutions that we provieei... Beep beep beep beep.
Socialize: The sexiest souonding activity. Imagine going to golf course, joining clubs, the high end health parlors, the can not afford salons and the high-end discs with a hope to socialize with the corporate bigwigs. But if u belong to the unlucky gang nothing of these super expensive things will work. The golf course would be full of retired defense personnel. The clubs u can afford are full of bankers, they made the same mistake. The health parlors are full of has grown out of size kids of industrialist, who do not know a thing about what their self proclaimed fathers do. The salons are crowded with the wives of these quality contacts, who can have u as their candy boy but will not introduce you to their hubby. The discs are full of kids who just want to get high; u knew it.
However strange and innovatively useless the above may sound, the life of a sales guy in a bank is like that. The poor sole keeps changing the strategies, sources, databases and at times him self just for that single convert / click / sale. And when that account happens, no one can gauge his happiness. He is on different level, the feeling is nothing less than good sex. Confident, like on top of the world.
1 comment:
you write better than what i expect you to. the template ur using is no good. change it.
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